Ok, how much is of this is too true to be funny?
Ten Things You Never Hear in Church
- "Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew!"
- "I was so enthralled, I never even noticed your sermon went 25 minutes overtime."
- "Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf."
- "I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I've been sending to TV Evangelists."
- "I'll volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class."
- "Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do!"
- "I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before."
- "Since we're all here, let's start the service early!"
- "Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas."
- "Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment to the Lord like our annual stewardship campaign."
When the Methodist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, "That was an experience, how do I learn from it?" When the Catholic priest falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, "I must have done something really bad to deserve that." When the Presbyterian minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, "That was inevitable, I'm glad its over." When the Baptist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, "Which one of my deacons pushed me?