Thursday Sports! August 27 2009
Well, baseball is winding towards its conclusion, with playoff races firming up and some teams going ahead and letting players get the season-ending surgeries they've been putting off (Santana of the Mets is an example). Meanwhile, football is working through its 4 pointless pre-season games, and college football cranks up, I believe, this weekend!
So, here are some sports picks for you:
Baseball: Detroit will win the AL Central, go on to the World Series, and then the economy of Michigan will recover because of all the long-shot bets placed on the Tigers at the beginning of the season. Tax revenues from W-2G income will balance the state budget.
NFL: There are 32 NFL Teams. That means that, currently, 32 men have jobs as NFL head coaches. By October 1, at least one of those men will be out of a job. No team will even consider hiring a woman for that role, but nobody will mention that.
Team specifics: Eagles: as soon as McNabb has a bad day, the fans will scream to put Vick in as starting QB. Vick will return to his ways at Atlanta, and get hurt, resulting in another team going into “Well, if only (insert star player name here) hadn't been injured” mode.
Cowboys: Visiting teams will deliberately bounce punts off the scoreboard hanging over the field. Some will set-up ways to play this to their advantage. Eventually, a QB will attempt to use it as a deflection shot. Then, somebody will manage to hit it just right to wedge the ball into the scoreboard. Since it's in play, the ball stays live, and it'll take up the rest of the game clock to get it down. And Jerry Jones will fire a coach.
Titans: Decent season, probably not resulting in a Superbowl win, which will lead to questions about Jeff Fisher as a coach, and all sorts of reminders about coming up 1 yard short in 2000. He will remain, and continue as the longest tenured coach, because Bud Adams understands it's about more than just one title.
Bill Cowher and Tony Dungy will be begged to return to coaching. Dungy won't. Cowher might.
Colts: Manning will use not having Dungy as coach for the excuse for this year.
College football: The BCS will be whined about. Congress and the President will meddle with the system, force a playoff, which will then be complained about because it's not fair either, just like all of the playoffs in pro sports get griped about. Why? Because we're lousy losers in this country.
Teams: Arkansas will do ok, but not as well as we'd like. People will continue to blame Houston Nutt for it, but next year Petrino's going to have to produce.
Mississippi will do well, and people will claim that it's not because of Houston Nutt.
At least 2 SEC teams will fire coaches.
Other conferences will talk smack about the SEC, but nobody will want to play SEC teams.
At least 2 NCAA coaches will claim 'no interest' in coaching in the NFL, but will be considered, and possibly hired, as NFL coaches anyway. And will come back in 3 years or less.