Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Addendum for Wedding

 Yesterday's post was the wedding ceremony that I use. I thought I would address a little bit more about it here.

First, yes, I use the same wedding. This isn't laziness--and I will adjust, for example, if there are specific, relevant things to add. Or to take away--a second marriage of a couple in their 50s-70s might not include the lines about having children. Also, some weddings call for a personal request, like a specific Scripture reading before a song, the unity candle idea, etc., and those go into the ceremony overall. 

But I like to keep it the same thing: it's a reminder that marriage is a combination of the uniqueness of the two people coming together and the repetition of a relationship that is as old as time itself. Your marriage is yours, uniquely, but it also belongs with all the marriages across the ages.

Second, I really do believe that marriages work better within the community of believers. We tend to think that it's just about the bride and groom. And yes, without those two it doesn't work. 

But the relationship requires mentors and teachers and examples and companions. You need to see other people struggle, sweat, smile, survive, and thrive in their marriages so that you can see that it does happen, it does work. 

Additionally, there is value in taking vows crafted from the fabric of history, Scripture, and tradition. Why? Because you do not know what you need to promise in your marriage. Oftentimes, marriage is entered by young folks who are madly in love and think life is going to run fine--maybe there's a head nod toward "it's not always perfect" but that is far different from really understanding that you're vowing for both the rich days and the poor days--and the poor days aren't just when you only have basic cable.

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