So I don't have a book to highlight today, partly because my brain is task-switching back and forth between too many things right now. It's taken about an hour to produce this sentence. Now, is this because my brain has a weird concoction of Autism Spectrum Disorder issues and ADHD issues? That may be part of it--at least 2 mental health professionals would support that idea, so I won't argue too much against it.
But I will also say this: it's also partly from letting my brain go slack for the last 4 months. About mid-April of this year, I defended my dissertation and officially could add "Ph.D." at the end of my name. Which I do in cases where adding that is useful, but I'm not roaming around calling myself "Doctor" very much. I'm afraid I'll get wrapped up in a malpractice suit.
After finishing the doctoral work, I dropped reading serious books. Which was necessary for a little while to let the brain relax. I reread a couple of longer novels, but honestly I could half-read them because I remembered most of what was there. Okay, honestly, even with the unabridged version of The Count of Monte Cristo I already had it down pat from the first time I read it. The result of this was that I let my brain go into a standby mode that I now have to get it out of.
The neurodivergence issues (remember that first paragraph from 2 hours ago about ASD and ADHD?) are ones I have long dealt with--you don't go to bed one night and wake up with these the next morning--so I have learned methods to cope. I learned how to power through large assignments. I have read and retained excessively long books.
But it's a learned skill, it's like building muscle. In truth, it's a lot like building muscle if you add to the idea that muscles only work in certain directions: you can't just build a massive quadricep that goes any direction. There are limitations on the direction of movement. Training a brain is like training muscles amid the joints they connect to, and neuro issues are like having sketchy tendons or missing cartlidge: the muscle is powerful but you can blow out with other problems.
My muscle, and its accompanying connective tissue, was allowed to slide past recovery and into a vegetative state. "Was allowed" here is me using lanaguage the way politicians or CEOs use "mistakes were made." I allowed it. I did it. So, now, I have to push a little harder to get it back in shape. The last time I was mentally slack like this, I forced myself into a doctoral program to shape up. That's a bit like deciding to train for an Ironman Triathlon because you're overweight. It's great if it works...
I don't think I'm going full-bore into another doctoral program. Instead, I will work on my own diet and exercise, adding some heavier lifting into the reading. I mean, Word Nerds Unite! by Webb Garrison is turning out quite fun, but it's not really challenging me very much.
In truth, we all need to challenge ourselves. Grab some heavier reading alongside your fun reading. Push yourself. Bit-by-bit. Hopefully in this space I'll get some other encouraging thoughts as well as some book recommendations posted.
But in the meanwhile: I'm going to get back to reading like I want to learn something. I already know I don't know enough, I need to treat that problem like it can addressed.
